Rethinking Weddings: Do not let your Budget define your Wedding Date

Last night I wrote about not valuing your wedding based on what it cost.  Today I want to talk about not letting your budget define your wedding date.  I promise tomorrow I will get back to the pretty details.  I have a ton of posts that are coming that talk about nitty-gritty planning: how to diy-flowers, how to choose a wedding cake.  But at this moment I want to talk about the big picture: Choosing when to get married.

Most of us contemplating marriage in our mid-twenties are lucky if we have next month’s rent and enough pesos in our pocket to buy a beer on the weekend.  It’s not unrealistic to contemplate the thousands of dollars that a wedding CAN cost (but doesn’t have to!) and to think that we can never afford it.  Or that we will only be able to afford it when we graduate, or when one of us gets a job, or when we get a raise, or when we can afford the perfect diamond ring (because clearly you need a big diamond ring before you can set a wedding date. FALSE), or the economy improves…etc.  

We put so much pressure on ourselves (why don’t we have the blog-worthy wedding money?!), there’s pressure on our partners (why aren’t you making enough to support a wedding?!), and there’s pressure on our parents (why didn’t you save $30,000 for my wedding?!).  But, can I make a proposal?

Take the pressure off.  Get married now. 

There’s never going to be a perfect moment.   You will probably never feel like you have enough money. Set a date, set a number that you feel comfortable with, make a plan to save.  And whether it’s $50 or $5,000  – move forward.  Make your plans. Live your life.  Own the wedding you will have, and get prepared to be married on an emotional level.  And then Get Married.  Your wedding will be beautiful because its YOUR wedding.  You are marrying your partner – the one that will be there “for richer and poorer.” (And for most of us, we’re going to spend more time on the poorer side of things.)

But, but, wait you say…oh, you want a wedding for 200 of your closest friends, a couture cake, and full dinner?  Married bliss just won’t be the same if you don’t have a glitzy gown and exotic honeymoon?  Well, that’s fine.  I want those things too.   And maybe those things are worth waiting a year (after all, it does take some time to plan out a full course dinner for 100…)  But if your realistic savings plan is going to put all of that 5 years down the road….then I leave you with wise words from someone much more brilliant than myself:

“So. To all of you waiting and wondering? You don’t get perfect. You just get someone that you want to spend imperfect with.  And that is the biggest gift in the world.” (Meg‘s thoughts)

Let me leave you with this inspiration (also found in Meg’s thoughts):

An emotional, beautiful $2000 wedding

An emotional, beautiful Wedding

An emotional, beautiful Wedding

Need more inspiration?  How about a fun, smiles-filled City Hall Affair.     Or a tear-jerking living room wedding.

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6 thoughts on “Rethinking Weddings: Do not let your Budget define your Wedding Date

  1. I love this idea. My fiance and I are waiting until next summer, so at least one of us will have a job and can afford anything at all (oh, graduate school…). However, our goal is to make our wedding as inexpensive as possible, so we can afford to go to Spain on our honeymoon.

  2. That $2,000 wedding looks absolutely fabulous. The author of that blog makes a good point–perhaps you could pass up a costly reception on your wedding day and have a huge anniversary bash a year or so later.

  3. I agree! Really, I think, the perfect smaller wedding would be you + your partner, a beautiful/meaningful place, the officiant, and an awesome photographer. :-)

    oh, and cake…need a glass of champagne & Cake!

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