Over the course of my 16 month engagement, two of my bridesmaids and several close friends have become engaged (Yay weddings!). One thing that I have found disheartening, however, is the frequency with which my friends apologize for their weddings. My crafty, creative pulling-it-together-on-a-budget friends feel the need to apologize for their “simple, causal, thrown together affair.” Similarly, my friends who are hiring a professional D.J. and wedding coordinator feel the need to apologize for spending the money and getting help.
Since when did we need to apologize for creating a wedding that fits our unique styles, abilities, and budgets?
1. Please don’t apologize for a DIY wedding.
When my friend Jenna gave me her wedding invitation, she did so with an impromptu apology: “Oh, we just did the simple/at home/printed them ourselves/pretty causal invite. And, I hand tied a ribbon to each one.”
Excuse me? Not only do her invites look incredibly sweet (linen paper and elegant script), but she hand-tied a ribbon. To each one. I mean, I should apologize that I had to tape it on my refrigerator…
Let’s not be afraid to take on a wedding task. I do think that wedding vendors are great for a lot of things. But let’s not forget that just because the word ‘wedding’ has been added to the equation, it doesn’t mean that we’ve lost all the super-awesome talents we use everyday. So all my graphic designing, Pinterest loving friends? Consider this your chance to rock out those DIY Wedding invites. Or consider making your own cake or dessert table. Or how about brewing your own beer?
Please don’t apologize because your wedding is a labor of love. I promise that your guests will be happy to celebrate with you regardless of who made your invitations or if you have a couture wedding cake. (And, if they aren’t, perhaps you should reconsider the wedding guest list…)
Now, that said,
2. Please don’t apologize because you hired professionals for your wedding.
Learning this was hard for me. At first I didn’t want to tell my friends that I had hired a month-of-coordinator, or that I was (gasp!) having someone design our invitations. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not crafty. I didn’t major in theater, I majored in political science & economics. It’s easier for me to take on a part-time job at the library and pay for someone to design my invitations then it is for me to attempt to do the same.
So, all my biology-majoring, professionally busy friends? Realize that doing everything yourself doesn’t make you a more authentic person, and it doesn’t give your wedding more meaning. Your wedding has meaning because of the love between you and your partner and the shared joy of your community. Everything else – the logistics, the aesthetics, the details – really are just that: details. Regardless of how you choose to do them (or have someone else do them!) it will not change the meaning of your wedding.
What do you think? Have you ever felt the need to apologize for your DIY-projects or choosing to hire professionals?